I must say, its quiet beautiful to learn more and more about myself and my ways by the blessing of breathing fresh new breath every day. Aloha Life brothers and sisters. Thank you for this blessing.

I have recently experienced myself being influenced a bit, and not fully honoring my truth. We have so many truths. One truth of mine is that I feel much better without orgasm. I feel more sexually alive when I circulate the sexual energy versus disperse it thru an orgasm.

Recently, as my life partner arrived back on the island, I actually ended up having an orgasm. Now, this is totally okay. Like I said, the awareness, learning and growth is what I value. I am feeling like I learned a lot from this experience of having an orgasm after at least 23 days of no orgasm.

So. What did I learn ? I learned that no matter what is happening in the physical world I choose to stay strong and committed in what I know feels the best for me. I choose to value most my staying true to myself versus do something that may feel really amazing in the moment, but later show me that perhaps its not really my most preferred feeling. Of course in the bigger picture I know that of course I wanted the orgasm. Thats why I had it ! So I could gain this new level of awareness of how much I choose to Stay Strong in my Truth. Not be tempted by changing physical reality to react, do or say something I really don’t want to say or do.

Another thing I learned is that I can express my feelings of agitation to my partner. I can honestly share the affect I feel from having the orgasm. I can share everything with him. My feeling that I just want to be alone and that I feel less free when he is around. Basically I learned that I cannot hide my insecurities with him. I have to share them. I learned that I am loved in the space of feeling all that I feel. I learned that its safe and okay for me to always share my experience and feelings with him. Even when it has to do with him. I learned that it’s the sharing that matters most. The honestly of what is alive in me. Sharing the true raw feelings.

I learned that we can share things, and that they do not always have to be pretty. That even when its something we may not feel is nice it’s still good to just express it because it feels real in that moment. I learned that I am in the best relationship ever. Because I can truly share all of myself. That my partner wants me to be open and share. I learned that I am loved in my insecurities too. And in my fear.

Orgasm can make me feel different in my mood. Like it brings up agitation energy and insecurities. Circulating the energy by breathing a lot while we make love is what makes me feel so good !

Like its really not the biggest deal, yet, I love being really picky about how I feel. Like, I value feeling really amazing ! And I know what I must do to feel amazing. One thing is circulate the sexual energy versus disperse it. Another thing is get proper sleep at the right times. Another thing is eat vegan plant based and stay hydrated. Another one is Feel Connection to who I am beyond body/mind and always remember where I come from and who I eternally am. I value feeling connected to Truth. Eternal One truth of Infinite Love. Abstaining from orgasm really supports my desire for deeper connection with the whole. With You. With Me.

Another way I am staying strong in my Truth is this situation that is happening at the place I am staying. There is a women here who is known for causing lots of trouble and drama. She makes many people cry and feel very uncomfortable. She is very mentally unstable in my perception. She has verbally attacked me and many of my friends. She has been sweet to me and manipulated me and then really treated me so badly. I allowed this to happen before because I did not know better. Also I was wanting to believe that she was my dear sister that I loved. But slowly but surely she started showing some very disturbing qualities that I honestly find a bit creepy and scary. So she got kicked out of this place yet she keeps coming back. Nobody wants her here. Yet she forces herself to places and people. Anyways, enough about that. I feel so much compassion for her. I cannot be angry or upset anymore.

Even when she steals from me. Its like, I am aware of my mind wanting to react and be upset but honestly I just wish her the best and also that she stays away from my space. The way I am Staying Strong in My Truth is to not react with anger or judgement. When she is judging and blaming others and myself for being evil humans I am just feeling compassion and love. feeling the feelings I desire for her to feel so badly. I am SO grateful that I am able to keep my calm and peace. feel my preferred outcome versus get into a cat fight with her. Before I have been very defensive and reactive towards her now honestly I could care less. Her energy cannot affect me because I am so Committed to my Truth of choosing Love and compassion versus hatred and blame.

I am however setting the strongest energetic and physical boundary ever. I blocked her from fb and don’t want her anywhere near me. This boundary is serving me so well ! Fuck I am so happy to not be miss nice I want everyone to like me kinda girl anymore. If you treat me like that, I will strongly state that I am not to be treated this way. I am not going to tolerate it in my space. So Yes, I can be in the same space as her yet I’m not affected at all. Im in my world. She feels the boundary. And its so Wonderful. Haha.

This is a big one for me. A lesson learned. I used to react big time. Like I would argue and debate with her try to change her outlook. Now I know I do not want that energy in my life. So I stay Strong in my Truth and firmly state that to the universe. It all works out when we know what we desire the most and act upon it. Allow life to shape itself according to what we desire.

In what ways are you staying strong in your Truth ?